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Seismic Rad-Libs: Hatch Benedict of Sex With Strangers

September 1, 2010

I hate it when I am on the road and: none of my bandmates offer me a simple hug in times of need.  Two years ago, they were lining up to give me hand-jobs and high-fives after a good show, now they barely look at me.  I wish I could take the whole “rise of the night trout” incident back, but I can’t guys.

Canada has the: far superior wildlife.  Namely, the puffy-pawed super-predator known as the lynx.  “King of the Tundra-Ruler of Felines”.

To hit my “sweet spot” you have to: massage my mind first, then work your way down from there.  Or skip my mind altogether.  Your call.

Poutine is: critical to gaining weight.  It’s pronounced “poo-teen”, which is French for “prelude to the runs”.

The States have the: far superior Taco Bell menu.

Bryan Adams < Cory Hart

Favorite bands in Vancouver are: Guilty About Girls, Twin Crystals, Joyce Collingwood, Humans…too many to mention.  Vancouver is on the cusp of greatness right now.  We’re all anxious to see who will be crowned the next Loverboy.  P.S. Speaking of which, Mike Reno remains the ultimate “husky man’s front-man”.

I hate the way Americans: find it necessary to sell alcohol in every gas station and convenience store across the country.  And by “hate” I mean “worship”.

Canadians can be: easily provoked by anyone revealing ignorance about our country.  For example, the Texan who asked “Do y’all drive snowmobiles to work up there in the winter?” and “Do y’all get cable TV up there?”  

On a day off I: contemplate questions like “If you could go back in time 15 years and start again, would you do it”?  and “Will Marcus Trufant regain his Pro Bowl form of 2007”?

My favorite gig was: our show at SXSW this past March.  Hands-down the best festival we’ve played to date.  It’s like a glorious Disneyland for music-lovers, minus the mascots and the pressure to smile.  We played the tiny Austin landmark know as Jaime’s and tore shit up (so we were told).  It was there where we cemented our reputation as “a band you want to party with/avoid at all costs” when we rendered The Pack A.D. utterly useless with a dozen margaritas each, prior to their showcase later that night.  

Sex with Strangers can be:-at your ass in a game of bocci, anywhere anytime.  Consider this a challenge to anyone reading this. 

Seattle has the best: Andrew Chapmans

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One Comment leave one →
  1. Vince permalink
    September 8, 2010 3:56 pm

    Well done, Hatch… Nary a mention of beavers in the whole shebang!

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